Thursday, March 7, 2013

Give me a break!

I'm going to start this post with something I seem to always start my posts with...

Where to begin?

I stopped taking my birth control about 2 weeks ago now. Can I please tell you how amazing I feel? I did not realize how depressed I was while taking it. It turned me into a different person, a very scary, nauseous, tired person. I am so glad I stopped taking it, not only for my own sake but everyone around me (poor Ryan- thank you and I love you for putting up with my bullshit!!)

On a different note, to make a very long story short- I was having some pretty horrible abdominal pain. It started last Wednesday, the worst of it was Friday night into Saturday and it sort of went away on it's own. I had that pain twice before, about a year and a half ago, and then again 6 months ago. I didn't think anything of it except for this time it just felt like there was acid all in my belly and throat. I got an ultrasound of my stomach (I went in thinking it was my gallbladder) turns out I have a stomach ulcer. Am I surprised? No... The reason being is for the best 10 years I've suffered with insane menstrual cramps. My go to OTC painkiller is motrin. I pop them like candy for a week straight every month. So, that is that. I ruined my stomach and now I have to deal with the ulcer and cramps each month because moving forward taking motrin is not a choice! It can heal on its own and get better, I just have to be careful of what I eat. No citrus fruit, spicy things or excess caffeine. 

The ultrasound found a couple other things. I have a fatty liver. This should and will go away on its own once my body adjusts completely to the weight loss and as I lose even more weight. The doctor said this might be causing some of my symptoms but its unlikely. Lastly, they think I have a cyst in my pancreas. This is very scary and terrifies me because, we aren't exactly sure what it is yet, and the seriousness of it. I am trying to stay positive and just not think about it until I know exactly what the heck is in there. Out of everything I found out, this concerns me the most and I will update as soon as I get the MRI. I tried getting an MRI today for it, but it went totally wrong. The dye they injected me with ended up under my skin and not in my veins causing me to have a painful meltdown in the MRI machine. I have to wait a whole week to get the test redone. UGH! I cannot catch a break.

Okay, on a positive note. I lost 3.2 pounds this week! All of the water weight from my period is gone and I lost a pound on top of that. I weigh 169.2. Finally out of the 170s :)

I refuse to be a sick person. I don't care how much pain I am in because of this ulcer or whatever is going on in my pancreas. I cannot and will not let this stop me. I went to the gym the other night in so much pain I could not stand up straight. I didn't go crazy, just walked on the treadmill. However, it made me feel so much better knowing I can still do what needs to get done. No matter what the results are of this MRI, I will not stop doing what I am doing. It is not an option for me. I am only 14.2 pounds away from my 140 pound weight loss goal! Nothing is going to stop me now. 


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