Sappy.

Sometimes it boggles my mind how I have done what I have done. It is hard to wrap my brain around losing so much weight, and changing my life. I was 19 when I made the choice to get healthy. Most 19 year olds are out having fun with friends, becoming who they are meant to become and living a carefree life. I on the other hand was 294 pounds. I didn't want to leave the house, I had barely any friends, and was so incredibly unhealthy. I vividly remember the moment I decided to do this. It was a Tuesday morning, and I had skipped class again- why? Because it was one of those classrooms where all the desks where attached to the chairs and I didn't fit. Kind of funny now, but at the time it was horribly embarrassing. Anyway, I was driving around thinking and something just clicked. I knew I was too young and too unhealthy. I wanted a better life. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to be beautiful. I got home and found an empty journal. The rest is history.

Not a day has gone by in the past 3 years, 1 month and 8 days that this weight loss hasn't consumed me. Whether it was a good day, a bad day- a horrible month or successful month, it is all I have thought about. The thought of me being a small tiny 12 pounds away from the weight I have dreamt of since the beginning of all of this honestly brings tears to my eyes.

At times I have held on by a thread. There were times over the past 3 years that I didn't think I could do this. I thought I would fail and I have never been so sorry for thinking those thoughts. I can do anything, this journey has taught me just that. The motivation for losing this weight has changed over time. At first it was all about getting skinny. It has recently changed to get healthy and happy. That is really the most important thing in the world, being healthy.

I am going to lose these last 12 pounds for the old me. The 10 year old who was bullied on the playground, the 13 year old who never ever thought she would have a boyfriend because of her size, the 15 year old who didn't see her life getting better and wanting to die because of it, and the 19 year old who made a life changing, mature decision and saw the light at the end of the tunnel.

I have never been so motivated, it is radiating off of me. I want nothing more than to finish what I started, and help everyone I can get healthy and happy.

On to the last 12 pounds....