I have had SO many people ask for my help in their own weight loss journeys. I feel like I am in a good place in terms of my journey- I have felt the success of a major weight loss (although not finished just yet). I have learned oh so much along the way and honestly feel like I have learned how to lose weight not only in a healthy way, but to keep it off. I want to help EVERYONE who has ever felt like they were too big, needed to lose a few pounds, or even as much as I did. I am putting this out there to anyone- I am willing to help. We can just talk over email or meet up weekly to go over your own food journals- whatever I can do! Back in the day- I had a one-on-one weight loss consultant. Although I wasn't in the right place to lose a lot of weight at the time, it was SO helpful just to have someone to talk too, and look at what I was eating everyday and let me know how I was doing. I did lose 30 pounds at the time!
My email is
TeresaLGenova@gmail.com
I hope to hear from anyone who needs help :)
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Monday, July 15, 2013
Stepping it up.
Everyone has their struggles. I am no different. From the outside, my obvious struggle is my weight. I ballooned when I was about 8 years old and by the time I turned 19, I weighed 294 pounds. Since February 18, 2010 I have lost about 135 pounds, you all know about that. Anyway, my not so obvious struggle has been much more of a battle than my weight loss. I hate to use the word but I have to- depression. Cliche', I know. I thought the depression was because of my obesity, maybe it used to be. As I have dropped the weight, more and more issues have come up for me. I think since my weight loss has slowed down over the past 6 months or so, all that is left is for me to face these issues. For lack of a better term, shit has hit the fan. Over the past few weeks, especially this past week I have been consumed by this deep, uncontrollable sadness. Friday night, I had a full blown aniexty attack. I spent the weekend talking about these issues with my mom and boyfriend and did a lot of thinking. Here is my conclusion-
The way I have been feeling is totally unacceptable. I am too young, have worked too hard, and have way to much to be happy about for me to feel depressed. So, like my weight problem, I am going to work very hard to change this on my own. In my journal I wrote down exactly what I need to do, my "steps to happiness" if you will :). I think I have talked about my personal things than this, so, I am going to share-
Step 1) Live healthy.
This is pretty simple. I feel better about myself and world when I am living healthy. I need to always continue my exercise routine and eat as cleanly as possible. My body is used to it and it really does effect my mood. Not only do I feel a sense of guilt when I eat something awful, but when I do not stay active, I feel lethargic and just down. I think I have this part down, but it had to be number one on my list!
Step 2) Expect less from people and self.
This is one of the biggest issues. I will start by saying this, I would bend over backwards for a stranger I see on the street. I go out of my way everyday for others and I am a people pleaser. I grew up thinking everyone was this way. "Treat others the way you would like to be treated?" I took that saying way to much to heart. Not everyone is like this and that is totally fine. I need to learn to give and expect nothing in return. The disappointment I have felt from others is crazy, from them basically doing nothing wrong. I also need to expect less from myself, I can't be a perfectionist 24/7-365. It is okay to relax, and even make mistakes.
Step 3) The past.
My past hasn't been all rainbows and butterflies. No ones is. I, like most, have been so heartbroken and hurt that you can't get out of bed. I have been cheated on, made fun of, bullied- just to name a few. The OLD me went through all of that stuff. I have to learn to stop thinking about my past and holding on to pointless things I can't change. I would have loved to go through high school skinny and popular, but I didn't and that is that. WHO CARES! Everything happened/happens for a reason.
Step 4) Accepting me.
I am a new person, inside and out. This mostly has to do with the outside. Back to step 2-I shouldn't have excepted anything with this weight loss. I thought I was going to be toned, skinny and hot. Well, not really. I have extra skin, and will never be as small as I first thought. This is a tough thing to accept. It makes me mad that I worked so hard and still am not totally happy, but, this is me, this is what I look like. I am beautiful regardless of what I thought I would end up looking like. I have a great boyfriend and family who love me no matter what. They are so awesome I feel like I could have like 5 heads or something and they would still treat me as if I was some supermodel. They accept me, now I have to work on doing the same...
Step 5) Stop fearing abandonment.
I will not get into details on this one. Let me just say this- it is all I have ever known. I am finally with an amazing partner who will NEVER leave me. He has told me 9293 times he is going no where and is in this for the long run. I want nothing more than to spend my life with this person, and I know in order to do that, I need to not fear him leaving me, because it makes me crazy. What a guy :)
Step 6) Write.
I love to write. This blog is and has always been my therapy. I wrote this blog for months before I shared it with anyone. I love it and I love helping other people through my journey. Sharing everything has helped me do just that. I need to write more and more consistently!
These are my steps to happiness. I am grateful for everyone and everything I have. I am ready to put the past behind me, accept myself and what I look like, love and just live. It is simple really. I will re read these everyday until they are burned into my brain! I think everyone deserves pure happiness, and I am no different.
The way I have been feeling is totally unacceptable. I am too young, have worked too hard, and have way to much to be happy about for me to feel depressed. So, like my weight problem, I am going to work very hard to change this on my own. In my journal I wrote down exactly what I need to do, my "steps to happiness" if you will :). I think I have talked about my personal things than this, so, I am going to share-
Step 1) Live healthy.
This is pretty simple. I feel better about myself and world when I am living healthy. I need to always continue my exercise routine and eat as cleanly as possible. My body is used to it and it really does effect my mood. Not only do I feel a sense of guilt when I eat something awful, but when I do not stay active, I feel lethargic and just down. I think I have this part down, but it had to be number one on my list!
Step 2) Expect less from people and self.
This is one of the biggest issues. I will start by saying this, I would bend over backwards for a stranger I see on the street. I go out of my way everyday for others and I am a people pleaser. I grew up thinking everyone was this way. "Treat others the way you would like to be treated?" I took that saying way to much to heart. Not everyone is like this and that is totally fine. I need to learn to give and expect nothing in return. The disappointment I have felt from others is crazy, from them basically doing nothing wrong. I also need to expect less from myself, I can't be a perfectionist 24/7-365. It is okay to relax, and even make mistakes.
Step 3) The past.
My past hasn't been all rainbows and butterflies. No ones is. I, like most, have been so heartbroken and hurt that you can't get out of bed. I have been cheated on, made fun of, bullied- just to name a few. The OLD me went through all of that stuff. I have to learn to stop thinking about my past and holding on to pointless things I can't change. I would have loved to go through high school skinny and popular, but I didn't and that is that. WHO CARES! Everything happened/happens for a reason.
Step 4) Accepting me.
I am a new person, inside and out. This mostly has to do with the outside. Back to step 2-I shouldn't have excepted anything with this weight loss. I thought I was going to be toned, skinny and hot. Well, not really. I have extra skin, and will never be as small as I first thought. This is a tough thing to accept. It makes me mad that I worked so hard and still am not totally happy, but, this is me, this is what I look like. I am beautiful regardless of what I thought I would end up looking like. I have a great boyfriend and family who love me no matter what. They are so awesome I feel like I could have like 5 heads or something and they would still treat me as if I was some supermodel. They accept me, now I have to work on doing the same...
Step 5) Stop fearing abandonment.
I will not get into details on this one. Let me just say this- it is all I have ever known. I am finally with an amazing partner who will NEVER leave me. He has told me 9293 times he is going no where and is in this for the long run. I want nothing more than to spend my life with this person, and I know in order to do that, I need to not fear him leaving me, because it makes me crazy. What a guy :)
Step 6) Write.
I love to write. This blog is and has always been my therapy. I wrote this blog for months before I shared it with anyone. I love it and I love helping other people through my journey. Sharing everything has helped me do just that. I need to write more and more consistently!
These are my steps to happiness. I am grateful for everyone and everything I have. I am ready to put the past behind me, accept myself and what I look like, love and just live. It is simple really. I will re read these everyday until they are burned into my brain! I think everyone deserves pure happiness, and I am no different.
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Down.
Let me start by saying this, things are not going my way. I caved and had to weigh myself, I know, disappointing. I felt so off and unsuccessful- I had to see how I was doing on the scale. I didn't lose anything or gain anything. I have been so busy and just completely unmotivated. I have barley worked out. I am so mad at myself. This is honestly like a roller coaster. One day I feel good and the next, fat and horrible. I know this is in my control. The main thing I have learned over the past 3 years is just that. Only I am in control of this journey. Every time I eat, or make the choice to work out or not, it effects this journey. I know that, and it is exhausting. I need to find my path again, because I am completely off course. I weigh 163 pounds and it's the smallest I have ever been. Everyone thinks I am crazy but, I am not satisfied just yet. I am thrilled with my 134 pound loss however, I will not be 100% happy until I reach 155 pounds. My perfectionism may be annoying to some, but, that is how I got to where I am today. Accepting nothing less than consistent weight loss. I am feeling really down and I feel like I have lost sight of everything. I am hoping more than anything I can finish this, lose these last 8 pounds, and tone up. That is when I will finally be able to celebrate all of my hard work.
On a lighter, happier note- I am moving! My boyfriend and I are moving in together in a little over a month. We are renting a one bedroom apartment together. I am overjoyed. I am ready to open this new chapter in my life, and our lives together. Living on my own, being totally in control of everything I buy to eat, everything I cook and how I spend my time I think will be nothing but beneficial for me. I can honestly see me dropping all of this weight very soon after I am living on my own. Only time will tell!
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