In honor of my 24th birthday just passing I would like to say this. Thank you 23. You taught me so much and you were life changing. It was the year of change. I got engaged, I got life changing surgery and learned more about the world and myself than I can even explain. I experienced more up and downs than I thought possible. I have so much to look forward too in this next year. I will continue to heal and get to know this new person I seemed to become overnight. I will also become someones wife. Someone who literally amazes me everyday. Someone who I am lucky to even know. Someone who I care about so deeply it hurts. 24 will be perfect and I cannot wait.
Anyway,
I haven't posted anything in FOREVER. Life has gotten pretty busy and crazy to be honest. After my last post lots of things happened, not so much with me but with the people around me. I think honestly it was some what of a blessing in disguise. At the time I felt overwhelmed because I still didn't feel good and I was limited in what I could do. But looking back it helped take my mind off of my situation and what was happening to me. This whole surgery and healing process has kind of been a huge learning experience for me as odd as it sounds. I don't know if it was because I had so much time to self reflect or simply, what I went through was so tough and life changing but I feel like I came out of it all so much stronger than I was going in. I sort of learned what is important to me, who is important to me and what my priorities are. Ive been to hell and back through this whole weight loss process. The fact I even got the surgery still seems like a dream. I am so utterly and completely grateful and thankful for it all. I would do it again. It was terrifyingly amazing.
Like I said, lots has been learned. I learned that I can overcome anything. I over came my weight issue. I overcame this difficult healing process. I feel more confidant in myself, not just because of the way I have changed physically but the fact that I over came so much. The physical limitations I experienced were humbling. I went from not being able to walk to going for a hike this morning. It is crazy what the body can heal from. Speaking of healing, I still am not 100%. At night I still get very sore and stiff. I can't really arch my back or stretch yet. I am exercising again but I can't really do ab exercises or lift my arms really high. I feel like I have adapted to these limitations and don't really notice them anymore. I still have swelling believe it or not. Right above my incision line is still very puffy. However, it is a million times better than it was. It will eventually go down. It could take another 3-6 months! I don't really even notice the scar anymore either. It is just apart of me. I see it only when I really look for it. Don't get me wrong, it is extremely noticeable but, it is part of my journey and in a strange way I am proud of it.
My body just makes more sense. I am more in proportion and shapely. I didn't realize how much the extra skin made me look, boxy? I think. I don't really know how to explain it. All I know is, I feel better about myself, I feel like I look better in clothes and that is really all that matters. I am so much happier and I cannot wait to continue to work out and tone up and see what else I can do and accomplish. This whole weight loss journey will never be over. It is something I will be on for the rest of my life. The surgery wasn't the end of anything. In a way it was the beginning.
When I decided to get this surgery I had no idea the impact it would have had on me. What got me through was my family and friends. The people who, when things got ugly and tough were still there for me and supported me. I can never thank you all enough for that. I will never ever forget what my dad said to me before I got this surgery. He told me "you can always look back at what you did and say to yourself man, I can do ANYTHING." I think for the first time, I truly believe I can and I cannot wait to see what is next.
I will update again soon :)
