This morning I got a call from my nurse saying I could shower. It has been 5 days and let me tell you, if it wasn't for baby wipes and my kitchen sink I don't think anyone would want to come within 5 feet of me! This shower meant the first time I saw myself naked. I was overwhelmed with excitement. I gathered my things as quickly as possible and headed up the stairs for the first time, I have been staying on the first floor of my home to avoid stairs. I slowly made my way up. My knees felt like led as they got used to the lifting motion. I made it up and undid my dressings, took of my binder and my compression bra and looked in the mirror. Before I could even take it all in, immediate tears flowed down my face and my first thought? "Oh my god, I am so....TINY." My sagging wrinkled tummy is now tight and flat. My roll that sagged and held onto sweat and hid my belly button was GONE. My saggy pointy breast are now lifted and round and natural looking. This may be to much information but I need to explain something. Since before I was 10 years old I remember being ashamed of the way I looked. I remember as a child being upset because I was bigger than everyone. It took me many years, a major weight loss and surgery to finally have positive feelings about the way I look. And I do not regret one thing. My journey made me the person I am. I am humble and grateful every single day of my life. If I could go back and say anything to that 10 year old chubby girl it would be, enjoy the ride, it is wild and difficult but it is all going to be worth it.
I am so so so grateful that I was able to get this surgery. I am so grateful to my Mom and dad who sat by my side for 2 days in the hospital. My mom has been helping me with everything from getting out of bed to getting dressed and sleeping in a chair next to me to make sure I am okay at night. My dad for sending me my favorite edible arrangement in the mail and calling me non stop to make sure I am okay. My sisters who have shown me so much love and support, making sure I am okay and not bored. I am so grateful for Ryan who has been keeping a smile on my face this entire process and always reminding me everything will be okay. Also, for seeing me and my absolute WORST and still telling me I am the most beautiful girl in the world. Ryan's parents who are taking such great care of our puppy while I recover and visiting me with magazines and flowers. My future brother and sister in law for my pretty flowers. Everyone from my job who sent me a gift and get well card! Lastly, my friends, Thank you for all of the texts and Facebook support. You made this experience well worth it. Thank you for following my journey now for almost 5 years. And finally, I want to thank you all for thinking I was beautiful even when I didn't see it. I think that now we are all on the same page, we can consider this all somewhat of a success.....
As you can tell I am overwhelmed with joy and happiness and I have been crying as I write this entire post. I love you all so much and cannot wait to show you my results in pictures!
Thank you thank you thank you!
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