Reflection

My life is very different than it was a year ago, I am a new person. I have graduated college, started teaching preschool full time, had a 5 year relationship end, and began a new, healthy and wonderful relationship. Just saying all of that in the same sentence is exhausting. I was very down on myself for only losing 5 pounds within the last year- but honestly, do you blame me? I am not making excuses however, I devoted my life to my weight loss for two years straight and lost 113 pounds. Add on this years loss (so far) and I am 117 pounds lighter than I was. I put everything on the back burner to lose that weight. No regrets in doing so at all. This year, 2012, turned out different. I am not upset about my lack of weight loss because overall this year was a success. I gained nothing back. I continued to lose weight. I was able to keep it off during all of my ups and downs and that shows me a lot. I am so proud I was able to do that while finishing school and going through a heartbreak.

I was talking to my boyfriend, Ryan, last night and made an important discovery. For the first time in my life I feel content and accomplished. I am done with school for now, I have a full time job and I am in a drama free relationship. There is absolutely nothing holding me back from finishing what I started 3 years ago. The beginning of this new year is going to be clean slate for me, I can start fresh. I am putting all of my hard times behind me and I am going to lose these 23 pounds. It is the only thing left to do.

Losing a significant amount of weight is a mind game. I can no longer think of myself as someone on their way to reaching their 140 pound weight loss goal. I need to think of myself as a relatively average sized person who wants to lose 20 pounds. Hence my new "sub blog." When I think about losing 117 pounds, I can't wrap my brain around it, it is almost like it didn't happen. I can't explain why- maybe because I am such a different person than who I was or I always felt like this skinny person but it is all sort of a blur. I am just going to think about this journey as it is now. I am letting go of the past and starting over. That is what I need to do to finish what I started.

agreatloss.blogspot.com is my old blog where you can read all about my journey thus far. This is my new one and I can't wait to get started :)